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Can you accept a compliment?

compliment

(Maybe take two. They’re small).

It has been my observation (and the observation of others… multiple others) that many women can’t. I see it all the time, especially in my work with teenage girls. Tell any given 16 year-old girl that her hair looks nice or she played a great game of softball or that her piece in the art show was beautiful and you’ll most likely get a response back that deflects that compliment (at best) or downright redirects the compliment into something “wrong” with her or why she’s not good enough (at worst).

And it’s not just teenagers who are guilty of this behavior.  Comedy Central’s Amy Schumer created a video that takes this behavior in women to extremes and it went viral – it’s been viewed over 1 million times since it was released in May of 2013. The societal parody depicts a group of girlfriends responding with self-loathing remarks each time they are complimented by one another. The compliments range from comments about appearance and weight to things like work promotions and pregnancy. But the scathing comments that each woman remarks back about herself drive home the point to an absurd length: women cannot take compliments.

(Warning: the video is not even remotely politically correct, censored, or safe-for-work. If you offend easily, you probably shouldn’t watch it. But it is funny because it is extreme. And it is so extreme because this is SUCH a predominant behavior among otherwise healthy functioning women. We need the wakeup call, ladies.)

Why do we do this??

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When Your Belieber Becomes a Griever

justin-bieber-bieber-fever-baybee-3-justin-bieber-12747795-266-343

Bieber Fever: it’s real.

Justin Bieber. As an adult, I’m sure those two, small words elicit eye-rolling, maybe rubbing your temples and exhaling deeply. As a small child, those two words bring about an entirely different reaction – Bieber Fever, supposedly the most contagious disease of our time. But don’t panic! A simple Google search will reveal some extraordinary news – Bieber Fever is dying out.

Okay, stop cheering. No, really. Focus. We’re about to get serious.

While this may be fantabulous news for the adult population, little ones are grieving the loss of their supreme Biebs. You’re probably thinking, “What is this girl talking about? It’s just a celebrity! My kid will find someone more tolerable to idolize.”

While those are very accurate statements, think back to when you were a kid. If I had known what the Spice Girls and Britney Spears (yes, I’m a 90s kid) were doing at all times– poor choices included – I would have been devastated!! I wanted to be friends with them; they were the coolest people I could ever imagine. Assuming they were making poor choices, and had their choices been publicized as JB’s are, there’s no way I would have been allowed to continue to listen to their music and buy their products. Part of me would have felt betrayed – how could someone I care about and look up to who was so cool yesterday be so horrible today? And frankly, that would have sucked. Read More…

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